Night after night
I 2
had passed the house 3
( it was vacation time ) and studied the lighted square of window : and night after night I 2
had found it 3
lighted in the same way , faintly and evenly .
If he 1
was dead , I 2
thought , I 2
would see the reflection of candles on the darkened blind for I 2
knew that two candles must be set at the head of a corpse 4
.
He 1
had often said to me 2
: “ I 1
am not long for this world 5
, ” and I 2
had thought his 1
words idle .
Now I 2
knew they were true .
Every night as I 2
gazed up at the window I 2
said softly to myself 2
the word paralysis .
It had always sounded strangely in my 2
ears , like the word gnomon in the Euclid 6
and the word simony in the Catechism .
But now it sounded to me 2
like the name of some maleficent and sinful being 7
.
It filled me 2
with fear , and yet I 2
longed to be nearer to it and to look upon its deadly work .
Old Cotter 8
was sitting at the fire , smoking , when I 2
came downstairs 9
to supper .
While was ladling out my 2
stirabout he 8
said , as if returning to some former remark of his 8
: “ No , I 8
would n’t say he 1
was exactly ... but there was something queer ... there was something uncanny about him 1
.
I 8
’ll tell you 11
my 8
opinion .... ” He 8
began to puff at his 8
pipe , no doubt arranging his 8
opinion in his 8
mind .
Tiresome old fool 8
!
When we 11
knew him 8
first he 8
used to be rather interesting , talking of faints and worms ; but I 2
soon grew tired of him 8
and his 8
endless stories about the distillery 12
.
“ I 8
have my 8
own theory about it , ” he 8
said .
“ I 8
think it was one of those ... peculiar cases ... .
But it ’s hard to say .... ” He 8
began to puff again at his 8
pipe without giving us 11
his 8
theory .
saw me 2
staring and said to me 2
: “ Well , so is gone , you 2
’ll be sorry to hear . ”
“ Who ? ”
said I. 2
“ Father Flynn 1
. ”
“ Is he 1
dead ? ”
“ Mr Cotter 8
here has just told us 11
.
He 8
was passing by the house 14
. ”
I 2
knew that I 2
was under observation so I 2
continued eating as if the news had not interested me 2
.
explained to old Cotter 8
.
“ The youngster 2
and he 1
were great friends 15
.
The old chap 1
taught him 2
a great deal , mind you 8
; and they 16
say he 1
had a great wish for him 2
. ”
“ God 17
have mercy on , ” said piously .
Old Cotter 8
looked at me 2
for a while .
I 2
felt that his 8
little beady black eyes were examining me 2
but I 2
would not satisfy him 8
by looking up from my 2
plate .
He 8
returned to his 8
pipe and finally spat rudely into the grate .
“ I 8
would n’t like children of mine 18
, ” he 8
said , “ to have too much to say to a man like that 1
. ”
“ How do you 8
mean , Mr Cotter 8
? ”
asked .
“ What I 8
mean is , ” said old Cotter 8
, “ it ’s bad for children 19
.
My 8
idea is : let a young lad 20
run about and play with young lads of
his 20
own age
21 and not be ... .
Am I 8
right , Jack 13
? ”
“ That ’s my 13
principle , too , ” said .
“ Let him 22
learn to box his 22
corner .
That ’s what I 13
’m always saying to that Rosicrucian there 2
: take exercise .
Why , when I 13
was a nipper 57
every morning of my 13
life I 13
had a cold bath , winter and summer .
And that ’s what stands to me 13
now .
Education is all very fine and large ... .
Mr Cotter 8
might take a pick of that leg mutton , ” he 13
added to .
“ No , no , not for me 8
, ” said old Cotter 8
.
brought the dish from the safe and put it on the table .
“ But why do you 8
think it ’s not good for children 23
, Mr Cotter 8
? ”
she 10
asked .
“ It ’s bad for children 24
, ” said old Cotter 8
, “ because their 24
minds are so impressionable .
When children 25
see things like that , you 11
know , it has an effect .... ” I 2
crammed my 2
mouth with stirabout for fear I 2
might give utterance to my 2
anger .
Tiresome old red-nosed imbecile 8
!
It was late when I 2
fell asleep .
Though I 2
was angry with old Cotter 8
for alluding to me 2
as a child 56
, I 2
puzzled my 2
head to extract meaning from his 8
unfinished sentences .
In the dark of I 2
imagined that I 2
saw again the heavy grey face of the paralytic 1
.
I 2
drew the blankets over my 2
head and tried to think of Christmas .
But the grey face still followed me 2
.
It murmured ; and I 2
understood that it desired to confess something .
I 2
felt my 2
soul receding into some pleasant and vicious region ; and there again I 2
found it waiting for me 2
.
It began to confess to me 2
in a murmuring voice and I 2
wondered why it smiled continually and why the lips were so moist with spittle .
But then I 2
remembered that it had died of paralysis and I 2
felt that I 2
too was smiling feebly as if to absolve the simoniac 1
of his 1
sin .
The next morning after breakfast I 2
went down to look at the little house in
Great Britain Street 27
3 .
It was an unassuming shop , registered under the vague name of Drapery 3
.
The drapery consisted mainly of children 28
’s bootees and umbrellas ; and on ordinary days a notice used to hang in the window , saying : Umbrellas Re-covered .
No notice was visible now for the shutters were up .
A crape bouquet was tied to the door-knocker with ribbon .
Two poor women 29
and a telegram boy 30
were reading the card pinned on the crape .
I 2
also approached and read : July 1st , 1895 The Rev. James Flynn 1
( formerly of S. Catherine ’s Church 31
, Meath Street 32
) , aged sixty-five years .
R. I. P .
The reading of the card persuaded me 2
that he 1
was dead and I 2
was disturbed to find myself 2
at check .
Had he 1
not been dead I 2
would have gone into the little dark room behind
the shop 3
33 to find him 1
sitting in his 1
arm-chair by the fire , nearly smothered in his 1
great-coat .
Perhaps would have given me 2
a packet of High Toast for him 1
and this present would have roused him 1
from his 1
stupefied doze .
It was always I 2
who emptied the packet into his 1
black snuff-box for his 1
hands trembled too much to allow him 1
to do this without spilling half the snuff about the floor .
Even as he 1
raised his 1
large trembling hand to his 1
nose little clouds of smoke dribbled through his 1
fingers over the front of his 1
coat .
It may have been these constant showers of snuff which gave his 1
ancient priestly garments their green faded look for the red handkerchief , blackened , as it always was , with the snuff-stains of a week , with which he 1
tried to brush away the fallen grains , was quite inefficacious .
I 2
wished to go in and look at him 1
but I 2
had not the courage to knock .
I 2
walked away slowly along the sunny side of
the street 27
34 , reading all the theatrical advertisements in the shop-windows as I 2
went .
I 2
found it strange that neither I 2
nor the day seemed in a mourning mood and I 2
felt even annoyed at discovering in myself 2
a sensation of freedom as if I 2
had been freed from something by his 1
death .
I 2
wondered at this for , as had said the night before , he 1
had taught me 2
a great deal .
He 1
had studied in the Irish college in
Rome 36
35 and he 1
had taught me 2
to pronounce Latin properly .
He 1
had told me 2
stories about the catacombs 37
and about Napoleon Bonaparte 38
, and he 1
had explained to me 2
the meaning of the different ceremonies of the Mass and of the different vestments worn by the priest 39
.
Sometimes he 1
had amused himself 1
by putting difficult questions to me 2
, asking me 2
what one should do in certain circumstances or whether such and such sins were mortal or venial or only imperfections .
His 1
questions showed me 2
how complex and mysterious were certain institutions of the Church 40
which I 2
had always regarded as the simplest acts .
The duties of the priest 41
towards the Eucharist and towards the secrecy of the confessional seemed so grave to me 2
that I 2
wondered how anybody 42
had ever found in himself 43
the courage to undertake them ; and I 2
was not surprised when he 1
told me 2
that the fathers of
the Church 40
44 had written books as thick as the Post Office 45
Directory and as closely printed as the law notices in the newspaper , elucidating all these intricate questions .
Often when I 2
thought of this I 2
could make no answer or only a very foolish and halting one upon which he 1
used to smile and nod his 1
head twice or thrice .
Sometimes he 1
used to put me 2
through the responses of the Mass which he 1
had made me 2
learn by heart ; and , as I 2
pattered , he 1
used to smile pensively and nod his 1
head , now and then pushing huge pinches of snuff up each nostril alternately .
When he 1
smiled he 1
used to uncover his 1
big discoloured teeth and let his 1
tongue lie upon his 1
lower lip — a habit which had made me 2
feel uneasy in the beginning of our 15
acquaintance before I 2
knew him 1
well .
As I 2
walked along in the sun I 2
remembered old Cotter 8
’s words and tried to remember what had happened afterwards in the dream .
I 2
remembered that I 2
had noticed long velvet curtains and a swinging lamp of antique fashion .
I 2
felt that I 2
had been very far away , in some land where the customs were strange 46
— in Persia 47
, I 2
thought ... .
But I 2
could not remember the end of the dream .
In the evening took me 2
with her 10
to visit the house of mourning 48
.
It was after sunset ; but the window-panes of the houses that looked to the west 49
reflected the tawny gold of a great bank of clouds .
Nannie 50
received us 51
in the hall 52
; and , as it would have been unseemly to have shouted at her 50
, shook hands with her 50
for all .
The old woman 50
pointed upwards interrogatively and , on ’s nodding , proceeded to toil up the narrow staircase before
us 51
53 , her 50
bowed head being scarcely above the level of the banister-rail .
At the first landing 54
she 50
stopped and beckoned us 51
forward encouragingly towards the open door of the dead-room 55
.
went in and the old woman 50
, seeing that I 2
hesitated to enter , began to beckon to me 2
again repeatedly with her 50
hand .