May 7th .
--
I 0
love
.
I 0
am writing in
it 1
now in the late afternoon loveliness , much interrupted by the mosquitoes and the temptation to look at all the glories of the new green leaves washed half an hour ago in a cold shower .
Two owls are perched near
me 0
, and are carrying on a long conversation that
I 0
enjoy as much as any warbling of nightingales .
The gentleman owl says [ [ musical notes occur here in the printed text ] ] , and she answers from her tree a little way off , [ [ musical notes ] ] , beautifully assenting to and completing her lord ’s remark , as becomes a properly constructed German she-owl .
They say the same thing over and over again so emphatically that
I 0
think it must be something nasty about
me 0
; but
I 0
shall not let
myself 0
be frightened away by the sarcasm of owls .
This 1
is less
a garden 2
than
a wilderness 3
.
No one 4
has lived in
the house 5
, much less in
the garden 1
, for twenty-five years , and it is such
a pretty old place 5
that
the people who might have lived
here 5
and did not , deliberately preferring the horrors of
6 , must have belonged to
that vast number of eyeless and earless persons of whom
the world 10
seems chiefly composed
9 .
Noseless too , though it does not sound pretty ; but the greater part of
my 0
spring happiness is due to the scent of the wet earth and young leaves .
I 0
am always happy ( out of doors be it understood , for indoors there are
servants 11
and furniture ) but in quite different ways , and
my 0
spring happiness bears no resemblance to
my 0
summer or autumn happiness , though it is not more intense , and there were days last winter when
I 0
danced for sheer joy out in
my 0
frost-bound garden
1 , in spite of
my 0
years and
children 12
.
But
I 0
did it behind a bush , having a due regard for the decencies .
There are so many bird-cherries round
me 0
, great trees with branches sweeping the grass , and they are so wreathed just now with white blossoms and tenderest green that
the garden 1
looks like a wedding .
I 0
never saw such masses of them ; they seemed to fill
the place 1
.
Even across
a little stream that bounds
the garden 1
on the east
13 , and right in the middle of
the cornfield beyond 14
, there is an immense one , a picture of grace and glory against the cold blue of the spring sky .
is surrounded by
cornfields 15
and
meadows 16
, and beyond are great stretches of
sandy heath 17
and
pine forests 18
, and where
the forests 18
leave off
the bare heath 19
begins again ; but
the forests 18
are beautiful in
their 18
lofty , pink-stemmed vastness , far overhead the crowns of softest gray-green , and underfoot a bright green wortleberry carpet , and everywhere the breathless silence ; and
the bare heaths 19
are beautiful too , for one can see across
them 19
into eternity almost , and to go out on to
them 19
with one ’s face towards the setting sun is like going into the very presence of
God 20
.
In the middle of
this plain 21
is
the oasis of birdcherries and greenery where
I 0
spend
my 0
happy days
1 , and in the middle of
the oasis 1
is
the gray stone house with many gables where
I 0
pass
my 0
reluctant nights
5 .
The house 5
is very old , and has been added to at various times .
It 5
was
a convent 22
before the Thirty Years ’ War , and
the vaulted chapel 23
, with
its 23
brick floor worn by pious
peasant 24
knees , is now used as
a hall 25
.
Gustavus Adolphus 26
and
passed through more than once , as is duly recorded in archives still preserved , for
we 28
are on what was then
the high-road between
Sweden 30
and
Brandenburg the unfortunate 31
29 .
The Lion of
the North 32
26 was no doubt
an estimable person 66
and acted wholly up to
his 26
convictions , but
he 26
must have sadly upset
the peaceful nuns , who were not without convictions of
their 33
own
33 , sending
them 33
out on to
the wide , empty plain 34
to piteously seek some life to replace the life of silence
here 5
.
From nearly all the windows of
the house 5
I 0
can look out across
the plain 34
, with no obstacle in the shape of
a hill 35
, right away to a blue line of
distant forest 36
, and on the west side uninterruptedly to the setting sun -- nothing but
a green , rolling plain 37
, with a sharp edge against the sunset .
I 0
love those west windows better than any others , and have chosen
on that side of
the house 5
so that even times of hair-brushing may not be entirely lost , and
the young woman who attends to such matters 39
has been taught to fulfil
her 39
duties about
a mistress recumbent in an easychair before an open window 0
, and not to profane with chatter that sweet and solemn time .
This girl 39
is grieved at
my 0
habit of living almost in
the garden 1
, and all
her 39
ideas as to the sort of life
a respectable German lady 40
should lead have got into a sad muddle since
she 39
came to
me 0
.
The people round about 41
are persuaded that
I 0
am , to put it as kindly as possible , exceedingly eccentric , for the news has travelled that
I 0
spend the day out of doors with a book , and that no mortal eye has ever yet seen
me 0
sew or cook .
But why cook when
you 42
can get
some one 65
to cook for
you 43
?
And as for sewing ,
the maids 44
will hem the sheets better and quicker than
I 0
could , and all forms of needlework of the fancy order are inventions of
the evil one 45
for keeping
the foolish 46
from applying
their 46
heart to wisdom .
We 47
had been married five years before it struck
us 47
that
we 47
might as well make use of
this place 50
by coming down and living in
it 64
.
Those five years were spent
in a flat in
a town 49
48 , and during their whole interminable length
I 0
was perfectly miserable and perfectly healthy , which disposes of the ugly notion that has at times disturbed
me 0
that
my 0
happiness
here 50
is less due to
the garden 1
than to a good digestion .
And while
we 47
were wasting
our 47
lives
there 48
,
here 50
was
this dear place 67
with dandelions up to the very door , all the paths grass-grown and completely effaced , in winter so lonely , with
nobody but the north wind 51
taking the least notice of
it 64
, and in May -- in all those five lovely Mays --
no one 52
to look at the wonderful bird-cherries and still more wonderful masses of lilacs , everything glowing and blowing , the virginia creeper madder every year , until at last , in October , the very roof was wreathed with blood-red tresses , the owls and the squirrels and all the blessed little birds reigning supreme , and not a living creature ever entering
the empty house 5
except the snakes , which got into the habit during those silent years of wriggling up the south wall into
the rooms on that side 53
whenever
the old housekeeper 54
opened the windows .
All that was
here 50
, -- peace , and happiness , and a reasonable life , -- and yet it never struck
me 0
to come and live in
it 64
.
Looking back
I 0
am astonished , and can in no way account for the tardiness of
my 0
discovery that
here 50
, in this far-away corner , was
my 0
kingdom of heaven
68 .
Indeed , so little did it enter
my 0
head to even use
the place 50
in summer , that
I 0
submitted to weeks of seaside life with all its horrors every year ; until at last , in the early spring of last year , having come down for the opening of
, and wandering out afterwards into
the bare and desolate garden 1
,
I 0
do n’t know what smell of wet earth or rotting leaves brought back
my 0
childhood with a rush and all the happy days
I 0
had spent in
a garden 57
.
Shall
I 0
ever forget that day ?
It was the beginning of
my 0
real life ,
my 0
coming of age as it were , and entering into
my 0
kingdom .
Early March , gray , quiet skies , and
brown , quiet earth 58
; leafless and sad and lonely enough out there in the damp and silence , yet there
I 0
stood feeling the same rapture of pure delight in the first breath of spring that
I 0
used to as
a child 59
, and the five wasted years fell from
me 0
like a cloak , and
the world 10
was full of hope , and
I 0
vowed
myself 0
then and there to nature , and have been happy ever since .
being indulgent , and with some faint thought perhaps that it might be as well to look after
the place 50
, consented to live in
it 64
at any rate for a time ; whereupon followed six specially blissful weeks from the end of April into June , during which
I 0
was
here 50
alone , supposed to be superintending the painting and papering , but as a matter of fact only going into
the house 5
when
the workmen 61
had gone out of
it 5
.
How happy
I 0
was !
I 0
do n’t remember any time quite so perfect since the days when
I 0
was too little to do lessons and was turned out with sugar on
my 0
eleven o’clock bread and butter on to
a lawn closely strewn with dandelions and daisies 62
.
The sugar on the bread and butter has lost its charm , but
I 0
love the dandelions and daisies even more passionately now than then , and never would endure to see them all mown away if
I 0
were not certain that in a day or two they would be pushing up their little faces again as jauntily as ever .
During those six weeks
I 0
lived in a world of dandelions and delights .
The dandelions carpeted the three lawns , -- they used to be lawns , but have long since blossomed out into meadows filled with every sort of pretty weed , -- and under and among the groups of leafless oaks and beeches were blue hepaticas , white anemones , violets , and celandines in sheets .
The celandines in particular delighted
me 0
with their clean , happy brightness , so beautifully trim and newly varnished , as though they too had had
the painters 63
at work on them .
Then , when the anemones went , came a few stray periwinkles and Solomon ’s Seal , and all the birdcherries blossomed in a burst .
And then , before
I 0
had a little got used to the joy of their flowers against the sky , came the lilacs -- masses and masses of them , in clumps on the grass , with other shrubs and trees by the side of walks , and one great continuous bank of them half a mile long right past the west front of
the house 5
, away down as far as one could see , shining glorious against a background of firs .
When that time came , and when , before it was over , the acacias all blossomed too , and four great clumps of pale , silvery-pink peonies flowered under the south windows ,
I 0
felt so absolutely happy , and blest , and thankful , and grateful , that
I 0
really can not describe it .
My 0
days seemed to melt away in a dream of pink and purple peace .