CHAPTER I There was no possibility of taking a walk that day .
had been wandering , indeed , in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning ; but since dinner ( , when there was , dined early ) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre , and a rain so penetrating , that further out-door exercise was now out of the question .
was glad of it : never liked long walks , especially on chilly afternoons : dreadful to was the coming in the raw twilight , with nipped fingers and toes , and a heart saddened by the chidings of , , and humbled by the consciousness of physical inferiority to , , and .
The said , , and were now clustered round in : lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside , and with about ( for the time neither quarrelling nor crying ) looked perfectly happy .
, had dispensed from joining ; saying , " regretted to be under the necessity of keeping at a distance ; but that until heard from , and could discover by own observation , that was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike disposition , a more attractive and sprightly manner -- something lighter , franker , more natural , as it were -- really must exclude from privileges intended only for . "
" What does say have done ? "
asked .
" , do n't like or ; besides , there is something truly forbidding in taking up in that manner .
Be seated somewhere ; and until can speak pleasantly , remain silent . "
adjoined , slipped in .
contained a bookcase : soon possessed of a volume , taking care that it should be one stored with pictures .
mounted into the window - seat : gathering up feet , sat cross-legged , like ; and , having drawn the red moreen curtain nearly close , was shrined in double retirement .
Folds of scarlet drapery shut in view to the right hand ; to the left were the clear panes of glass , protecting , but not separating from the drear November day .
At intervals , while turning over the leaves of book , studied the aspect of that winter afternoon .
Afar , it offered a pale blank of mist and cloud ; near a scene of wet lawn and storm-beat shrub , with ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly before a long and lamentable blast .
returned to book -- 's History of British Birds : the letterpress thereof cared little for , generally speaking ; and yet there were certain introductory pages that , child as was , could not pass quite as a blank .
They were those which treat of ; of " " by them only inhabited ; of , studded with , , or , to -- " Where , in vast whirls , Boils round ; and Pours in among . "
Nor could pass unnoticed the suggestion of , , , , , , with " the vast sweep of , and , -- , where , the accumulation of centuries of winters , glazed in Alpine heights above heights , surround the pole , and concentre the multiplied rigours of extreme cold . "
Of formed an idea of own : shadowy , like all the half-comprehended notions that float dim through 's brains , but strangely impressive .
The words in these introductory pages connected themselves with the succeeding vignettes , and gave significance to the rock standing up alone in of billow and spray ; to the broken boat stranded on ; to the cold and ghastly moon glancing through bars of cloud at a wreck just sinking .
can not tell what sentiment haunted , with inscribed headstone ; gate , two trees , low horizon , girdled by a broken wall , and newly-risen crescent , attesting the hour of eventide .
The two ships becalmed on , believed to be marine phantoms .
The fiend pinning down 's pack behind , passed over quickly : it was an object of terror .
So was the black horned thing seated aloof on a rock , surveying .
Each picture told a story ; mysterious often to undeveloped understanding and imperfect feelings , yet ever profoundly interesting : as interesting as the tales sometimes narrated on winter evenings , when chanced to be in good humour ; and when , having brought ironing-table to the nursery hearth , allowed to sit about it , and while got up 's lace frills , and crimped nightcap borders , fed eager attention with passages of love and adventure taken from old fairy tales and other ballads ; or ( as at a later period discovered ) from the pages of , and , .
With Bewick on knee , was then happy : happy at least in way .
feared nothing but interruption , and that came too soon .
door opened .
" Boh !
! "
cried the voice of ; then paused : found apparently empty .
" Where the dickens is ! "
continued .
" !
!
( calling to ) is not : tell is run out into the rain -- bad animal ! "
" It is well drew the curtain , " thought ; and wished fervently might not discover : nor would have found it out ; was not quick either of vision or conception ; but just put head in at the door , and said at once -- " is in , to be sure , . "
And came out immediately , for trembled at the idea of being dragged forth by .
" What do want ? "
asked , with awkward diffidence .
" Say , ' What do want , ? ' "
was the answer .
" want to come here ; " and seating in , intimated by a gesture that was to approach and stand before .
was a schoolboy of fourteen years old ; four years older than , for was but ten : large and stout for age , with a dingy and unwholesome skin ; thick lineaments in a spacious visage , heavy limbs and large extremities .
gorged habitually at table , which made bilious , and gave a dim and bleared eye and flabby cheeks .
ought now to have been at ; but had taken for a month or two , " on account of delicate health . "
, , affirmed that would do very well if had fewer cakes and sweetmeats sent from ; but 's heart turned from an opinion so harsh , and inclined rather to the more refined idea that 's sallowness was owing to over-application and , perhaps , to pining after .
had not much affection for and , and an antipathy to .
bullied and punished ; not two or three times in the week , nor once or twice in the day , but continually : every nerve had feared , and every morsel of flesh in bones shrank when came near .
There were moments when was bewildered by the terror inspired , because had no appeal whatever against either menaces or inflictions ; did not like to offend by taking part against , and was blind and deaf on the subject : never saw strike or heard abuse , though did both now and then in very presence , more frequently , however , behind back .
Habitually obedient to , came up to chair : spent some three minutes in thrusting out tongue at as far as could without damaging the roots : knew would soon strike , and while dreading the blow , mused on the disgusting and ugly appearance of who would presently deal it .
wonder if read that notion in face ; for , all at once , without speaking , struck suddenly and strongly .
tottered , and on regaining equilibrium retired back a step or two from chair .
" That is for impudence in answering awhile since , " said , " and for sneaking way of getting behind curtains , and for the look had in eyes two minutes since , rat ! "
Accustomed to 's abuse , never had an idea of replying to it ; care was how to endure the blow which would certainly follow the insult .
" What were doing behind the curtain ? "
asked .
" was reading . "
" Show the book . "
returned to and fetched it thence .
" have no business to take books ; are , says ; have no money ; left none ; ought to beg , and not to live with like , and eat the same meals do , and wear clothes at 's expense .
Now , 'll teach to rummage bookshelves : for they _ are _ mine ; all belongs to , or will do in a few years .
Go and stand by the door , out of the way of the mirror and the windows . "
did so , not at first aware what was intention ; but when saw lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it , instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm : not soon enough , however ; the volume was flung , it hit , and fell , striking head against the door and cutting it .
The cut bled , the pain was sharp : terror had passed its climax ; other feelings succeeded .